Male Role Models this International Men’s Day

International Men’s Day is an incredibly important day of the year for me. It represents much of what I am about and believe in, it also kickstarted my blog last year and led on a journey to finding my inner peace. I see November 19th as a day about unity, connection and understanding, as well as a dedicated platform for awareness and communication on the societal impact of toxic and traditional masculinity. This is a day of positivity and change for the better. In some ways it is about love. Loving yourself (if a man) by showing that care you need to your mental and emotional well-being and loving other men by offering support, understanding, care, empathy and encourage. Honestly, who knows where a day driven by love and an honest and wholehearted desire to make the world better might lead.

Positive Male Role Models

This year, International Men’s Day is talking about male role models and positive influences. Specifically, the theme is ‘making a difference for young men and boys and the positive values men bring to families, communities and the world’. I totally dig this. Last year, I talked a bit about my son and my concerns that like me, he is quite sensitive and that this can put him in a bad situation with how society can be for boys (and eventually men). I’ve struggled with it my whole life. The thought that he might too is of course upsetting.

Lack Thereof

Growing up, I didn’t really have male role models. My dad was an inspiration for how he handled personal tragedy and came back from it, but we didn’t really build a proper relationship until I was a teenager. So, I never really looked to him for how men should be or how they should behave. Other males in my life were largely negative or abusive people. I never understood them; they confused me. Perhaps because of how I am or maybe because these people were inherently toxic influences. I don’t know. I saw the males present in my life as mostly emotionally stunted, judgmental, controlling and incapable of empathy.

Media reinforced this more and the attention I attracted from school for being different reinforced this viewpoint.
In a world where men don’t cry and overcome their issues through dominance (mental or physical, depending on the person); I couldn’t help but wonder what that made me… it certainly made me question my masculinity well into adulthood.

International Men’s Day 2019

I ended up the way I am because I failed to associate with these people. It left me isolated and confused but it meant that I continued to be sensitive, open and reflective. Others growing up in the same situation might have followed the example. I don’t know. Equally. what do men like this make young women and girls think masculinity is?

The point is that this isn’t what it is to be a boy or a man. This is not what masculinity is and that society needs to stop encouraging boys to be like this. The responsibility sits with all; men, women, boys and girls to encourage change for the better. Of course, one way is by celebrating and encouraging the right attitudes. Highlighting positive role models. After all, every aspect of society suffer for the lack of them, including environmentalism.

A good role model is someone who steps up and behaves naturally without cultural bias, doesn’t dwell on what is different but puts themselves across positively irregardless of gender and in doing so; presents the right image. If you know any; take a moment to highlight this today. Spread the love, the positivity and celebrate the good. Help make the world more positive and reduce that toxic masculinity by enabling others to see those who exemplify the good.

The Busy Papa

Also known as Aaron, The Busy Papa focuses on lifestyle, parenting and personal wellbeing content. He has two decades experience in creative writing (including several published poems) and strongly dislikes (though tolerates) tomatoes.