Finding Those Perfect Moments

What is Perfection?

I have a funny relationship with the word perfect. I use it every day and I mean it completely, but I get frustrated with the way others use do. For example; the phrase nobody is perfect. To me, that says we all are. By saying that ‘no-one is perfect’, what we’re actually saying is that the best state we can achieve is imperfection which then means that with our imperfections, we are perfect (as we can’t be better than that). It often seems to me that when people use this phrase, they actually mean; we all make mistakes in reassurance or are excusing their actions without taking responsibility. In these moments, I often end up finding myself confused and unsettled by their use and meaning of the word perfect. Knowing full well that I am overthinking it, of course.

I don’t know if you know what I mean, to be honest. It’s just to me, perfect as a word is loaded with meaning and deeply subjective. So, when others use it; it unsettles the hell out of me. In fact, there are only two people in this world whose definition is crystal clear in my head; perfect you might say and I am one of them.

The Perfect Moment

Perfection is subjective, much in the way that beauty is in the eye of the beholder. I could talk about what perfection is to me, but, that isn’t one single post, is it? After all, the perfect person (and there is such a thing, you just need to think about how you define perfection in that context) doesn’t hold the same criteria as the perfect moment. Finding the perfect friend or partner would entail the same actions as finding the perfect moment would. They’re different things and perhaps different things for different people.

To me, the perfect moment is (simply put) a situation where you’re entirely in that moment. There are no thoughts of the past or future, just heightened awareness and connection in the situation you are experiencing. Complete and utter comfort.

For some readers this might seem like an alien concept. I’m an extremely anxious, sensitive and creative person who falls prey to over-thinking, bouts of worry and critical analysis. Being in a moment is incredibly difficult to achieve for me and yet now I often do. The beauty is that they come naturally, forcing these things will never work.

A moment of perfection doesn’t have to be an act of romance. It doesn’t have to be with your partner. It can be with a family member, a friend, a stranger or even an animal. Maybe, it’s dancing to your favourite song, having a deep and meaningful conversation or sitting outside gazing at the stars.

How to Go About Finding Those Perfect Moments

What it all comes down to is connection.

If you don’t connect and aren’t comfortable with someone, you’re not going to have those moments. Time will go slowly because you’re unsettled whilst you think about something else, sometime else or somewhere else rather than being entirely in the moment. Sometimes, you’re lucky and this comes effortlessly with someone. These are the people you treasure, these are your people. It is how you know your true friends or recognise true love.

I’m no expert on making friends but when it doesn’t come naturally, when that bond isn’t already there; it’s all about being real. Being relatable. People connect to someone willing to open up. Be that person. With this you build empathy, compassion and you encourage others to open up too. Maybe they share too, you both find comfort and common ground that enables one of those perfect moments.

While we understand that finding common ground isn’t always easy, it doesn’t have to be anything major. You could bond over both loving restoring cars, building them from scratch, searching out used toyota parts or other parts for projects. Or, it could be a love of reading, a love of cooking, or simply a love of peace. If you’re open about who you are, there’s far more chance of it going both ways, and an increased chance of one of your perfect moments coming at a time you didn’t even realize it could.

Life is Not a Solo Act

We share the stage with all kinds people and animals. Some we bond with, most we don’t. When we share ourselves with others and they do with us; we find ourselves in situations that lead to these perfect moments. When we find love and a partner who completes us; we naturally experience these moments. However, love and romance is not the only way. Put yourself out there and make strong connections with your friends and family and that too will lead to a more complete and happier life full of these moments.