3 Steps to Finding Happiness

We All Want to Be Happy

It’s a funny thing the society we live in; we are encouraged to find happiness but also sold the idea through gadgets, toys, cars, homes and so on. It’s a mixed message. We are equally told to be happy with what we have or that someone else always has it worse. The whole thing is nonsensical to be honest. Truthfully, I think happiness alludes many people; it did me for years and at the very best what most see as happiness is pleasure, it turns out. Yet, when it comes down to it, there are 3 steps you must take in finding happiness.

The Art of Happiness

For me, happiness has been a hot topic of late because I have found it. That isn’t to say there aren’t bad days, that I don’t feel sad or get anxious or struggle with things. Equally, it isn’t to say that all my triggers and bad thought patterns are gone. But I know that I am, and I want to do what I can to understand and maintain this despite what the world throws at me.

In doing so, one book I stumbled across is The Art of Happiness by the Dalai Lama and Howard C Cutler. The book is of course full of advice, anecdotes and thought-provoking questions. However, one thing stood out to me early on and got me thinking (and researching) way past putting the book down.

The Difference Between Happiness and Pleasure

You see, there is one and it’s damn big; what it all comes down to is that pleasure is something fleeting, it does not last and is achieved from forces external to us.

You could say, they’re experiences more sensual such as a tasty treat, a sparkly new toy, love making, a bath, pay rise and so on. These things aren’t bad (far from it) but the experiences pass. You of course some get the same feelings of pleasure from smoking, gambling or winning an argument too.

Pleasure doesn’t always come from a good place; it is a rewarding stimulus or a passing satisfaction, but it is not actual lasting happiness. Pleasure is a high but that comes with a crash too and pleasure shouldn’t be the foundations of you trying to be happy but a consequence of achieving it.

At least that’s what I think.

Steps towards Finding Happiness

So, I mentioned that I have found happiness or at the very least am on the path to it. What I realised on reading the book is that without knowing any of this; I had already made the transition to prioritising happiness over pleasure.

1) Identify your personal needs.

2) Accept and Move Past the Sources of your Unhappiness.

3) Before every decision ask yourself: Will this make me happy?

Whilst the process is simple enough, the answers might not be. It may mean being brutally honest with yourself and you must to be clear about the definition of happiness vs pleasure. Being happy is about giving yourself what you need to live, denying toxicity and living life not chasing fleeting feelings and external rewards.