Own Your Stress Sooner (So That It Doesn’t Own You)

It’s no secret anymore that stress is dangerous. I’ve written in the past how to recognize the symptoms of stress, of how in 2015; stress almost had the better of me and even about being stressed and recovering from stress affected how I played a video game.

Those who know me or have followed my work will know that I am a big advocate of stress awareness. Both as a sufferer and someone trying to help other people, it is a key part of my identity.

Medically Speaking

You shouldn’t leave stress untreated.

Stress can come in many different forms. Whilst sometimes it isn’t even a bad thing (it can be an early warning sign or a motivator for change); sometimes it is! Left unmanaged or untreated stress can lead to panic attacks, chest pains, sexual performance issues, insomnia and cardiovascular complications (to name a few). If you or someone you know is at this stage, it is certainly time to speak to a doctor.

Unfortunately, I can’t help you with stress treatment.

It’s Situational

Finding ways to relax or get on top of stress on a day-to-day level I can help with.

I can also help emphasise the importance of you taking action!

When it comes to stress, you’ll often hear gems of wisdom like “stop over analysing”, “don’t think about it”, “focus on the now, not the what-if’s”, “it could be worse” and “don’t worry about things that you can’t change”.

Whilst these points are true, the reason you find yourself agitated at these points is because they are unhelpful.

The fact that your father is unwell and in hospital again might be incredibly stressful; there’s nothing you can do about the situation. Of course you get frustrated as these statements! They fail to consider the context and that the circumstances are beyond your control and that’s not right, is it? You let yourself think that because of this, your reaction to the situation is too.

That isn’t true though!

Sure, you can’t control the situations you are put in but you can learn to control your reactions.

Maybe to achieve this, complex therapy is required, that’s for you to decide. After all, we are all responsible for how we feel.

The Thing About Responsibility

My last statement might be controversial for some. If it is, then I think you haven’t understood it. Being responsible for is not the same as to blame. If you find a purse with £200 cash in it on the floor, you are responsible for what you do next.

That doesn’t mean you left it there though, does it?

You might ignore it. Hand it in to the local authorities. Take the money for yourself. All would be actions you are responsible for. Each your own choice, right or wrong ethically.

It stands to reason then that if we are stressed, though we can’t control the context or how we feel about the situation the responsibility to resolve it sits with the sufferer and should not be dismissed because of the situation itself.

It is very easy to fall into a pattern of inaction because “my boss is a jerk and it’s his fault I feel this way” or “my situation isn’t going to get any less stressful, so, what good will seeing anyone about it do?”.

Recovering from Stress

I’ve been there but whether it’s someone’s fault or whether life has dealt you a bad hand focusing on blame achieves nothing!

It is your responsibility to yourself to deal with that stress and if you can’t deal with it, if it is past that point it is you should seek help in doing so (whether via meditation, medication or therapy). Sometimes people will pick up on the situation and help, sure (and take that if you need it) but don’t put it off just because you don’t want the responsibility or think that the responsibility sits with someone else.

I hate to say it but inaction is a choice and it could be the one that costs you in the long run.

When I was told a few years back that if I let my stress get any further, it might lead to heart issues or even sudden death syndrome, I know I regretted not taking responsibility for my health and wellbeing sooner.

Don’t make my mistake. Own your situation. Own your life.