Why It Feels Like High School Never Ended

I’m a 31-year-old dad of two.  I have an adult job.  I do grown-up things like talk children, politics and money.  All of this is true and yet I can’t escape the feeling that life often still feels like high school… (or secondary school, as we call it in the UK).

The Good Old Days

As a teenager I struggled with feelings of being misunderstood, I felt like other people were always dictating what I should do or how I would feel.  People would come to me with conflict and judgement I didn’t want.  I was mocked for my grey hairs, the way I dress or the fact that my natural style is kind of scruffy.  People underestimated me at every step, and I could only put my trust in a handful of similar minded misfits.  I never felt like I knew what I was doing or had any control.

Me being the way I was meant that I never quite fit into the cliques (and actively despised the way they formed), the social drama annoyed the hell out of me (especially when dragged into it) and I so didn’t care for the little measuring contents the guys would do to prove how ‘manly’ they are.

I couldn’t wait to be rid of it all and was glad when I left.

Except…

I don’t think I ever left!  Some days it feels like high school never ended.

The Cult of Celeb is Inspired By High School

On a higher level, look at celebrity culture.  There are magazines focused on gossip, going to great lengths to talk about who is wearing what, having sex with who, did what at the weekend and so on.  There’s a whole culture that promotes rivalries, embraces vanity and is happy to destroy a person and their reputation in the name of entertainment.  That is seriously messed up and quite juvenile.

The Workplace is Just Like High School

In the workplace, it depends where you work to what extent you get (and which parts feel like high school).  In some jobs social groups or cliques naturally form.  With male colleagues I’ve experienced feeling excluded in some places for having geeky interests rather than sporty ones.  In office environments, I’ve seen cattiness about who wears what and if one colleague slept with another.  Groups form and those who don’t fit in to any tend to be isolated.

The Playground Queen Bees Never Left

On the playground, mums fall into groups, gossip about the school and what they’ve heard about some of the other mums a few even begin taking more dominating roles, much like high school.

The Never-ending Drama Doesn’t Stop

With friends and family, the drama never ends.  It keeps going, there is always something and someone always has something to say about it.  When you become a parent, you’ll still have people telling you how to do that and what you’re doing wrong.  Making you feel bad every step of the way.

The Bullying Continues After High School

Bullying doesn’t stop, like high school you’ll still find people call you out on the way you dress, what you like and just because.  This comes from work, home and if you’re unlucky even when out and about.  Peer pressure is still a thing (except now it is also laser targeted into every aspect of your life through marketing).  People still play childish games, manipulating each other with false words and actions.

The Secrets are Like High School

I mean hell, crushes are still a thing too!

In the last ten years I can name a few people I’ve found out secretly fancy each other and struggle with the emotions that come with it (this happens a lot in workplaces).

That’s another thing, you’ll still have that one person who feels that one thing and wants to confide in you, but you must keep it a secret and not tell anyone.

High School Never Ends

To quote Bowling for Soup (whose song, High School Never Ends partly inspired this post):

The whole damned world is just as obsessed
With who’s the best dressed and who’s having sex
Who’s in the club and who’s on the drugs
Who’s throwing up before they digest

The one thing I can say however is that despite all of this, I do have something I didn’t before, self-awareness!  I know that all this is embedded in our culture and I know that it’s ridiculous and silly and that the best thing to do (when you can) is just laugh it off.  Sixteen-year-old me didn’t know that.  So, whilst it feels like high school never went away at least now I can laugh about how stupid it all is that it’s the case.